Friends

Friends.  I've never had many.  I know a lot of people.  I have a lot of acquaintances.  But the people who I actually consider close friends are few and far between.

Maybe it's because I don't open myself up to many people.  It's hard to develop a friendship when you don't really know a person.  You can be colleagues, co-workers, mutual acquaintances or just drinking buddies, but true friendship is different.

I was talking to a friend a while back and she said that she felt the same as me.  She knew a lot of people but doesn't consider many to be true friends.  To her, a true friend is someone who, if they call you in the middle of the night or show up on your doorstep with a problem, you don't ask questions, you don't judge them.  You help them in any way that you can...

Yesterday was my birthday, but we've been celebrating it since Saturday.  Not only were there many evenings of dinners and drinks, but there was also a surprise party that my wife, Belinda, had planned for over a month.

Something happened that night.  I walked into my studio expecting to quickly grab something and then head over to photograph a wedding.  Instead, I walked into a room full of people who had gathered together to celebrate with me.  A wall inside of me was broken that night.  I was able to let go and enjoy my party without feeling guilty or self-conscious.  I have never experienced that.  Before I walked into the room, I was a photographer who was going to photograph a wedding, a celebration of love, with a good friend.  Once I walked into the room, I was a guy who was surrounded by friends and filled with love. 

I realized what it is to have people in your life who want to see you happy, who will spend time with you for no other reason than to be in the same room together, who don't just take your time but also give their time. I realized that letting go is not something to fear, but something to embrace.  I realized that expressing your feelings is a wonderful thing...

To the friends who helped Belinda keep the surprise party a secret for over a month, the friends who came out to eat and celebrate even though the concert got canceled, the friends who came out with me on my actual birthday and the friends I'll be seeing tonight and tomorrow night, thank you.

Thank you for the well-wishes, for the photos, for the gifts and the hugs.  Thank you for helping Belinda plan an amazing party, for keeping secrets and for getting me to the party without me ever suspecting a thing.  Thank you for helping me start to become the expressive and emotional person I've always been inside, but have never felt comfortable being on the outside.  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to discover what it is to not just have friends who you hang out with, but to have friends who you love.  And finally, thank you for choosing to spend some of your valuable time with me.  I can't think of any gift that's more meaningful and cherished than time spent with good friends.